


Augustus

by immaculateshadows



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Blake sibling feels, Gen, POV 2nd person, Pre-Season 1, Sort of Experimental, a character study more than anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 14:32:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15608361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immaculateshadows/pseuds/immaculateshadows
Summary: You are angry at a lot of people, but not O. Never O.





	Augustus

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old piece, from around the time the first season aired. Basically it's just me trying to cope with some Bellamy feels by making myself sad. It's in 2nd person, which I know isn't for everyone and I don't always like myself, but it felt fitting here.
> 
> Feel free to let me know what you think!

You are five years old when your life changes forever. Your mother has prepared you for this moment, made you promise to keep quiet - and to keep the baby quiet. Afterwards, she lets you name her (Octavia, for the only sister you know) and tells you that she is now your responsibility. You have a sister.  
  
It is hard, when you and your mother become you and your mother and Octavia, and you have less food than before and more worries. Your mother is often working or gone (and it will be years yet before you understand the implications of that, and by then resentment starts building strong, resentment towards the council and the system and maybe your mother but _notyetnotyet_ ) and she comes home tired. It falls to you to care for your little sister, keep her safe. You promise her safety, that nothing will ever harm her and you try, god do you try, only to find out that you can keep her safe or make her happy but you can't do both (and lord knows the consequences aren't worth it, not nearly but you tried to do good and it didn't work, it never seems to work).  
  
So yes, things are hard, but you never blame O, because that is unthinkable. The magnitude of the secret takes its toll on you but you get to have this, and the bad does not weigh up to the warmth, the protectiveness that you feel for this girl. And it's yours. No one else gets to feel like this because no one gets a sibling and while it's not easy, you are proud of this.  
  
Octavia has become your life, and so when your plan to give her a night of harmless fun and freedom falls through, you are left with nothing. Your efforts to make Octavia happy have left you without a mother and without a sister and without a job, and suddenly nothing is right in the world. (You should be angry at the system, you know, and you are, but you also blame your mother. And really that only makes you feel worse because you fail at everything. You failed as a brother and now as a son and there is just so much anger and resentment and you don't know what to do with it. Most of all, really, you blame yourself. You are angry at a lot of people, but not O. Never O.)

  
(When Shumway comes to you with an offer, you don't have to think twice)

 

 


End file.
